Do You Know Me
A small
town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the
stand in a trial--a
grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do
you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams.
I've
known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been
a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you
manipulate people
and talk about them behind their backs. You think
you're a rising big shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you
never will amount to anything
more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was
stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed
across the room and asked,
"Mrs. Williams, do you know
the defense attorney?"
She again replied,
"Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
he was a youngster, too. I used
to baby-sit him for his parents. And
he too, has been a real disappointment
to me. He's lazy, bigoted, and
he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a
normal relationship
with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest
in the entire state.
Yes, I know him."
At this point the judge
rapped the courtroom to silence and called
both counselors to the bench. In a
very quiet voice, he said with
menace, "If either of you asks her if she
knows me, you'll be in jail
for contempt within 5 minutes!"
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