Goony Bird Gift

After many years of marriage, a husband has turned
into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to
his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The
wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to
attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with
some bored comment.

This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy
with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big,
ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms,
beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.

The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told
her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very
peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed,
"Goony bird! The table!"

Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with
single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a
hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws!
To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird!
The shelf!"

Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished
it in seconds.

"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's
attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home.

When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual,
sprawled in the chair guzzling beer and watching the game.
"Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you!
A Goony bird!"

The husband, in his usual bored tone replied,
"Goony Bird, my foot!"

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