The New Catholic
In North Ireland a Protestant man married a Catholic woman.
After their marriage he decided to convert to the Catholic church.
So he went to the priest and took instructions and was later
baptized Catholic.
He had one problem however. He couldn't get it into his
skull that he was a Catholic man, and no longer a Protestant.
This became such a problem that he returned to the priest and
asked for some advice. The priest told him that if he was to
repeat the phrase "I'm a Catholic, not a Protestant" enough times
the idea might penetrate his thick skull.
The man left mumbling to himself, "I'm a Catholic, not a
Protestant. I'm a Catholic, not a Protestant." The next Friday
the priest decided to visit the newlyweds. He knocked on the
door and was greeted by the wife. When he stepped in,
he smelled something that should not be in a Catholic's home
on a Friday. He asked the wife where her husband was and
she replied that he was in the kitchen.
The priest walked into the kitchen and saw the man pouring
spices in a pot holding a thick chunk of beef. Aghast, the priest
was about to explode when he heard the man mumble,
"You're a trout, not a cow. You're a trout, not a cow."
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